My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
