I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
