He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm both gender and math confused
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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