So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
