my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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