Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
