the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We were destined to go to rehab together
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
