I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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