dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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