omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
