just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
