my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
