i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize