you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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