i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize