the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
