Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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