We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Are my feet made of real feet?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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