Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
