where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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