Fuck appropriateness.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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