i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
