were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
