1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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