i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Are we still banned from the library?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
