im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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