Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
