i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
