I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
