I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
