A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
