i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm always down for nudity.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
