We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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