I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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