bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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