He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
