how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
