Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
