nut hugger
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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