I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
