btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
