Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Can I color on your dick again?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
