Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Do you remember whose house we're in?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
