Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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