so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
