I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
