All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
