i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
