just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize