What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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