He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
