did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
