But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
