Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
