I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
