My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
